Taylor's Notes: Its been a week and I've learned alot about Nick and myself, even just being with him. Its like I've learned to laugh again and learnt to tell someone "I really like you" again. He has thee most adorable laugh and when he smiles, he smiles with passion. But I see the way Joe looks at us, "I'm betrayed, thats my brother and my Taylor, now she's with him, thats screwed up. Don't they know I love them both, but differently? I've learned my lesson, now take me back." He only frowns now but I know I can't do anything about it, I mean, I can but I won't. Joe really does think, I'll come running back after what he did, like he's forgottin' how he did it, and thats what really hurts. But I still can't get him out of my life, and not just cause I'm dating his brother, because, I still, I think, have some kind of feelings for him. Not love feelings, either pitty or guilt. Its really sad I got put in the postion of picking between two brothers, who are obviously close to each other. Whats worse is, I haven't gone over to see They're parants since Joe&I's last date, and that was along time ago. How can I face them? It looks bad of me to be stabbing Joe in the back by going out with his brother. But Nick is the one that made the moves, but I didn't exactly stop it and we've been together about a week and a half now. I know I need to face them, I can't hide from it or them, its bound to happen, and for all I know, they might not have hard feelings. You can never tell but they've got to be great people because they've raised a good son, actually a couple good sons. I mean Kevin, Miranda, marriage! So great! And its gonna be sometime this month as far as I'm hearing. They wanna be married before they go to college. And they leave for college the end of next month. I'm so anxious. Its gonna be so great for them, I just know it. But I still don't want Miranda to go. Or Kevin, he's like a brother, and now a brother in-law! Yes in my recent past I do admit to having a crush on him but we all, usually, eventually grow out of crushes. I'm just glad Nick never did.He was so fearless when we came over for dinner the other day. But he could have just been happy my dad wasn't there, I dunno. Anyway, he helped with the dishes, when I was the one who volanteered. He even helped clear the table, that won points for everyone, even though they had no idea he'd do it. He is so awesome! I just can't get over it. But we both have regret and guilt. We talk about it but when I look down, which is what I do usually when I'm upset or getting upset, he changes the subject, I'm glad he can see everyone's emotions, not just his. He's like the police of feelings and emotions or something. Kellie always told me guys don't see emotions, especially other people's emotions but thats not true, Nick is living proof, thats not true. I think she is just thinking down on them because every realationship she's been in, its never lasted a month. That guy Jesse from the mall didn't take her to prom, she went with abunch of friends, Julianne and her kept Jesse to themselves, since she didn't tell anyone she'd been "with" him. I don't see how people don't take realationships and love seriously! Its such a beautiful thing, and people through it away. Almost half the girls in school are having pre-marridal sex and getting preganant, and only 3% of the guys stay with them. Its wrong, sex is and should be something special for the first time, not thrown away or over looked like love is lately. People are blind and crazy! Nick gave me this ring that symbolizes our realationship and no sex believeths. And I gave him an old wooden bracelet, just because i felt like it, and if he were to breakup with me, I'd know. But I'm not questioning that motion. I'm gonna try not to take things so seriously and try to have a little more fun this year, 08 was fun but now its 09 and its time to rough it up a little more! I even redid my hair, Taylor the curly girl has bangs now! Not that I think everyone really cares, no cares about anything in school exept what is cool. And apparantly dating the most popular guys and girls inschool is in. And we have a personality test coming in to see if the school can match compadable people together, Nick and I both don't wanna take the test but every student has too. So we're gonna rig it! We've already listed tons of answers for each other so we won't have to worry.
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